Sleep can be elusive. When I laid my head down on my pillow two hours ago I was ready to pass out. Then the wheels started turning. And once that happens, well... forget it.
Somehow my random mental train of thought in all that tossing and turning brought me back to my blog. Here we are, nearly two years since my last post and nearly 15 years after I began it. I find it hard to keep up with, but it’s also a tantalizing way to share what’s running through my mind in certain moments. Tonight as I looked back at my college days, I began reflecting on how much I have changed in that nearly half a lifetime.
What would the sheltered, introverted, and awkward kid I was back then think of the person I’ve become? What would he think of my life choices? My career choices? And what would I think of that kid if I ran into him now? He’s still fundamentally me but in a lot of ways circumstances have changed me to become a much different person over the last few years. Would the younger me be proud? Would he even recognize who he has become?
From the kid who would freak out on unfamiliar roads to the guy who is now traveling internationally solo. From the kid who idolized the news business to the middle aged man who is thinking about leaving it behind for something different altogether. From the meek Disney fan to the outspoken guy who owns a piece of the World. I’ve grown into my skin and become comfortable with who I am, perhaps now more than I ever have been in the 36 years I’ve been on this planet.
Yet while some things change others remain a constant. I still struggle with my weight. With forging and maintaining lasting relationships. And both need to be my focus as I approach my 40th birthday in a few years. My physical and mental health is in my hands and my resolve must be stronger than ever.
This blog is proof that I’m not getting any younger (that plus my receding and graying hairline). If I want to grow to a wisened and ripe old age I need to take better care of myself and those around me. After all, I’ve done a lot of growing over the history of this blog but I still have a lot more to learn and experience.
Looking back is thought-provoking, but looking forward is inspiring. I look forward to a lot more posts to come, with this post serving as a positive turning point in my overall journey. Thanks for reading this far! And I swear: I’m not high and/or drunk... just in a deeply reflective mood.😀
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