2017: the year that beat me down, then kept kicking

As the minutes left in 2017 dwindle to a precious few, I find myself reflecting on these tumultuous past twelve months and hoping for much better days ahead. The first five months of the year flew as things continued apace while I cared for my mom the best I could. After her passing, I started focusing on myself a bit more. I worked out a bit, ate a little better, and went through a month of grief counseling.

Over the four years I took care of my mom I continuously neglected my own health. As I focused much of my time and attention on caring for my mom, I traded trips to the gym for nights on the couch and evenings out with friends for evenings with my mom chowing down on junk food. People would warn me that I should also focus on taking care of myself but I thought I was doing fine. In hindsight? Not even close.

While the summer and fall certainly had some highlights, including visiting my aunt out in the Seattle/Tacoma area for the first time and returning to Disney World for the first time in two decades, the issues with neglecting my own health for so long started to show. At Disney I was easily winded and felt, frankly, bloated. A visit to a doctor for my annual physical revealed the toll stress and neglect had taken on my system: my heart wasn't pumping as well as it should, I was retaining fluids that my system couldn't flush out, and my blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides were all elevated to levels I hadn't seen before.

I packed on more than 70 pounds between August of 2013 and June of 2017. In my last license renewal photo I look like a totally different person. Much of that weight came over the last year. My mom needed to go to a doctor's appointment and I didn't have time to cook? I didn't care. Fast food became my go-to. Binge-eating junk food helped ease the stress. I could plow through an entire bag of chips in a sitting or devour an entire pizza without even realizing it. While I have lost nearly 35 pounds from my highest weight, I have left myself with myriad health issues I can only hope I can surmount.

As I deal with that, I'm also coping with an aging cat. My mom got Lucy when I was a freshman in college. She's is now 16 and a half, and a recent visit to the vet confirmed she's showing her age. I now have to give my cat IV fluids twice a week to supplement what her body can't process on its own.

Time is catching up with me. I need to turn things around soon.